5S5 Oscar Awards

“All the class's a stage, and all the teachers and students merely players."

Best Original Screenplay
Nominations for this category are all directed by 5S5 Pictures as a whole: these include The X Files, a mystery film on the emptiness of the blue card; and Conspiracy, which reveals the written (but never signed) agreement between 5S5 and Ms Lum. Adventures of the SPM examinations are featured in The Ordeal of November 2007 and also its sequel which came out on the big screen just four months later, An Inconvenient Truth, an equally breathtaking action thriller.

The winner, however, goes to Wonderful Days; dubbed “the most heartwarming tearjerker of all time” by the OLD TIMES Magazine, it has consistently been replayed for countless times in the mind’s eye of cast members for over a year after its completion in December 2007.

Best Adapted Screenplay

The much-publicised comedy The Godmother by Ms Lum, a remake of Francis Coppola’s triology The Godfather, wins the award. Although the award is rightfully received by the lead character, creators of the original version of the movie title, consisting of two Cantonese words, deserve a special mention.

Best Television Series

For the globally famous one-liner “save the cheerleader, save the world”, the award goes to Jeffrey Siow and Tan Wygene of Heroes.

The duo beat Suat Wei in One Litre of Tears as well as Yoong Hsiang in Doctor Who.

Best Musical

High School Musical 4: If You’re Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands, a genuinely spontaneous scene based on a Math class setting, brings home the award; much to the credit of equally spontaneous choreographer Terence Chong.

Best Newcomer

Not surprisingly, Chee Yuen wins without competition for his debut performance in The Arrival.

Best Supporting Actor/ Actress

The authorities regretfully announce that award has been cancelled, because each member of the 5S5 family play an equally important role, and no one is a mere supporting cast.

Best Actor

The vast number of nominees this year promised a fierce competition between, among others, Gui Sun in Rain Man, Wen Yau in The Love Guru, Terence Chong in Dirty, as well as Jing Hooi and Han Yong in Screamer. Kong Sime, a red-hot favourite, plays a much less horrifying version of The Joker in The Dark Knight.

It is veteran actor Tee Jin who emerges as the sole winner. After making 5S5 proud for acting as the prize-collecting Mathematics overachiever in Made of Honour, he has recently taken up a role in The Departed, following his decision to explore opportunities further away from home. However the award is presented to Tee Jin for his perfect rendition of E. T. the Extra Terrestrial, built on his previous experiences in It Came from Outer Space and The Man Who Fell to Earth.

Best Actress

For her unique sense of style and ever-changing hairstyle in She’s the Man, the award goes to Jie Hui. She has been offered a role in Kite Runner after unleashing her sports talents on the field in Jumper; however reliable sources point out that she is in delicate negotiations to rename the movie as Runner, dropping the word Kite for fear that she might be misunderstood to be flying kites.

Jie Hui shockingly defeats Mdm Sally Tam in The Devil Wears Prada, Mdm Lim SK in Aviation, Mdm Sivanes in Osmosis Jones and Mdm Sim CN in Chain Reaction, all of whom have served in the industry for far longer years.

Lifelong Achievement Award

Ms Lum is the undisputed winner for this award, well-known for her ever memorable figure, featuring the unchanged two-liner which the audience never fails to complete for her, in every one of her movies.

Her amazing film career is composed of popular movies which have consistently been hard-hitting on the box office, listed as follows: Mummy, The Nanny, My Sassy Girl, Miss Congeniality, Femme Fatale, Stop Making Sense, and the all-time top choice, And You Thought Your Parents Were Weird.

(Note: The self-proclaimed judge extends her heartiest congratulations to the winners, nominees and everyone else for all being a part of the Best Director, the 5S5 Pictures production crew.

The writer wishes to present the Best Oscar Award award to Huzir Sulaiman, and sincerely apologizes to him if any copyrights were infringed.)

Clean & Clear

Great memories. =)