The Classic

Q: How many 5S5-ians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 49.

One to act as managing director,
One to compose a ceremonious melody,
One to sit and wait while smiling demurely,
One to fry "you2 tiao2" for refreshments,
One to consider the environmental impact,
One to choreograph a Bollywood scene in the background,
One to stare into darkness and blurt "Huh? What happened?"
One to think of a way to do it without affecting her nail art,
One to sing a soprano to the accompaniment of the aforesaid melody,
One to create a marching formation to surround the bulb,
One to run fast - really fast - and get a new bulb,
One to chase the bulb like a dragon chases a fireball,
One to write a news article condemning the government for negligence,
One to make teh tarik for extra refreshments,
One to provide a detailed sketch of the process,
One to gaze at stars while it is still dark,
One to turn the bulb in Tai-Chi style slow motion,
One to call for a class gathering to discuss,
One to make an overseas call in concern,
One to pray for the soul of the old bulb in a Motherly fashion,
One to write a romance novel on the Bulb-Socket Breakup,
One to collect funds to purchase the new bulb,
One to ask in a distinct slang "Wei shen me? Bu zhi dao!"
One to salute and receive the old bulb in cadet form,
One to turn the light bulb using psychokinesis,
One to calculate the optimum vector force required,
One to stock up the koperasi with light bulbs,
One to assume a self-declared sexy pose on the ladder,
One to translate the instructions into German,
One to kick the old bulb the way one dribbles a football,
One to serenade "put your hands up, put your hands up"
One to slip away for a date while no one's watching,
One to contemplate on the philosophy of a light bulb,
One to figure out the personality of the light bulb,
One to sing "Wo Ke Yi" [I can],
One to hurl insults including "you're as useless as an old light bulb",
One to come up with the new one-liner "Teacher, you look like a light bulb",
One to supervise from the position of Big Brother,
One to infer that the old bulb is probably made of mangan-ese,
One to provide temporary sunlight when it's raining,
One to express the suffering of a bulb through a traditional musical instrument,
One to yell "wait ah, wait ah..."
One to laugh at the old bulb for the whole school to hear,
One to act as cheerleader along with the poser on the ladder,
One to determine the political correctness of changing a light bulb,
One to snicker "yeah, screw it in" with a very wrong expression,
One to Photoshop a picture of the old one to make it seem like it's working,
One to administer first-aid to the old bulb in an attempt to resuscitate it,

And one to comment: "So easy you also don't know how to do."



(Note: Arranged in order according to the class list, please refer to Ying Yang's January post for it.
The critic-author wishes to express her sincere apologies for any hard feelings caused.)